Pointless or Straight to the Point?

How many times in life have we thought something seemed pointless, silly, or a waste of time? How many times have we been pleasantly surprised or at least able to find the humor in the whole event? A good laugh is very healthy so let’s get straight to the point.

We decided that we would like to meet some new friends (you never can have too many GOOD friends but always be sure to limit the number of energy-suckers). It is just as difficult to meet friends as an adult as it was as a child. Like children, we spend the majority of our day with a specific group of people, whether that is at work or at school. Granted that with this group of people, you have a minimum of one thing in common and thus always have something to talk about around the coffee pot… but how many coworkers do you have enough in common with to socialize away from work?

OK, so you ask, where do you find those good friends that you wouldn’t mind being stuck in a broken elevator with for 4 or 5 hours? The kind of friends that don’t need constant entertaining or babysitting? The ones that share the same amount of dork factor and similar interests, beliefs, or concerns…

We racked our minds and scoured the internet. We found an internet site where virtualized communication brings about real world meetings – strangers become friends based on similar interests… photography, kids, orientation, sports, etc… Much the same as other social networking sites in that you have a bio and can add pictures and comments, but different in that sex doesn’t appear to be foremost on everyone’s minds – at least not outwardly. Here’s the most uncommon part about it… Say for example you are going to go bowling next Saturday afternoon. You’d really prefer not to bowl alone but you’re a closet bowler and don’t dare let your coworkers know this about yourself. You can go onto this website and post your event. Other closet bowlers, newbies and league members alike then have the ability to RSVP that they would like to participate with you. You don’t know each other and maybe don’t even live in the same town… But you know two things – you both like bowling and you’ll both be at the alley on Saturday. Score! The possibility of a new friend! Technology at its finest.

But what happens when you attend an event where you feel like a fish out of water? OK first off, you can leave – there’s the door, make a quick exit excuse and be gone.

Or…

Stay and try something new. Take a deep breath and look around the room – if you look close enough you might see others with labored breathing or darting eyes. Hey, there’s something you have in common with those folks right off the bat – you’re both nervous! Strike up a conversation… You also might start to have a little fun. (Uh oh… fun AND friends?)

My point is this… make an attempt. Get out there. As pointless as it may feel, go to a gathering that maybe you wouldn’t ordinarily attend. Walk into that room of 50 other strangers, attempt to shout loud enough to make conversation with the person next to you and who knows what will happen. If it’s really that bad – LEAVE… Walk outside, go around the corner and laugh. Have a wonderful laugh that you made a solid attempt. It’s never pointless to try.

Make Relationships Count

Relationships come in many flavors - the kind that you instantly connect together and it doesn't dissolve even though miles or time come in between you, the kind that need constant nurturing and eventually become exhausting, the kind that are equal in both the give and take, and everything in between.

My favorite type of relationship is the one that is an entity all its own. We know to take care of ourselves and take care of each other, but we must also take care of the relationship. When 2 people are in a quality relationship, they tend to automatically think of the other first which in turn has their own needs met as well. You feel like you are the most special person in the world and it comes naturally. You also both know that each have to put effort into that relationship to keep it vibrant, alive, and most importantly, passionate. Feed it, love it, put time & energy into it. You can't expect a relationship this great to sustain on its own.

It's the most amazing feeling to have someone know you so well that they anticipate your desires... When they actually take the time to think ahead to your needs you can't help but feel like a princess! When both parties in the relationship do this on an ongoing basis, it becomes natural and automatic to make the other person feel like a million! But it takes work. Keeping a relationship like this requires thought, consideration, passion and attention. Without the effort, it will become one of the other types of relationships, and some are just plain overrated for what you out into it.

Think about what you WANT out of a relationship and what you're willing to PUT INTO IT. Don't think that if you start off strong that the relationship will survive without an ongoing effort from both parties. If the effort isn't fun, then maybe it's not the right relationship. Talk to each other and learn more about each other every day. A great relationship like this will encourage you, personally, to grow leaps and bounds! It's worth the effort!
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"Not only does having strong relationships make it far more likely that you take joy in life, but studies show that it also lengthens life (incredibly, even more than stopping smoking), boosts immunity, and cuts the risk of depression." - Gretchen Rudin

Using Janus to Motivate

I often wondered why people make New Year’s Resolutions. What’s so different about January first compared to June first or October first or better yet, the beginning of spring planting – March 23rd ? Why aren’t there typically resolutions throughout the year? How did this tradition get started and why are these resolutions usually comprised of self improvement ideas? So I did a little research to determine if there’s any validity to this seemingly pointless midnight insanity.

Back in 153 BC, Janus, the god of beginnings and the guardian of doors and entrances, became the symbol for New Year’s Resolutions. He was a mythical Roman king with 2 faces – with one he could see backwards into the past year and with the other he was able to see forwards into the upcoming year. Romans celebrated the new year by looking for forgiveness from their enemies and good fortune the following year and passed around treasures bearing Janus’ resemblance.

I’ve been thinking about these resolutions a lot since we just rolled into 2010. I think we should all invoke the resolution concept in our daily lives. We should look to our family and friends for support just as the Romans did on New Year’s Eve.

Sometimes it’s really tough to make ourselves complete something that may be challenging or unpleasant. Whether that’s to lose 5 pounds, finish a project, start an exercise routine or develop an idea… We start out strong, hyped and motivated… but it’s so difficult to maintain that pace!

One of the hardest things to do is let people know the goals we’ve set for ourselves. Here’s the THEORY: if we put ourselves out there and let people know what we’re trying to accomplish, we can lean on their support and encouragement to keep us afloat when our motivation waivers. However, here’s the REALITY: sharing with others exposes our vulnerabilities and we know that once we say it out loud, if we fail it will be public knowledge. It’s different if we fail secretly.. shhh, no one needs to know! But failing in front of others exposes parts of ourselves that prefer to hide in the shadows.

Set yourself up with a group of friends or family that can be trusted with your secret ambitions. Share with them and get them involved as a support system for your goals – and do the same for them! Don’t wait until New Year’s Eve to make a resolution. This is the month of Janus (January), why not today?

Sieze Every Moment for What it Can Offer

Seize every opportunity to make a new friend, inspire some old friends and better yourself… Where you least expect to find enrichment will be rewards and riches galore. Allow yourself to be receptive at any moment so that you don’t miss out on life’s great unexpected pleasures. Have a wonderful weekend everyone. I look forward to hearing about the wonderful gifts life provides for you!
“Whenever you fall, pick something up.” ~Oswald Avery

Humor is the Best Medicine

Some days it just doesn’t feel like anything is going to make you feel better… not a video game, your favorite song or even an animated discussion amongst your inner selves. Darn it if it doesn’t feel like every black cloud is circling over your very own doorstep. I’ll bet reading A Different Spin On Life is the LAST thing on your mind, but I hope you will visit at the worst of times as well as the best…

Those days are a royal pain in the patootee. I have them and it feels like no one can do anything right, no matter how hard they try.

Sound familiar?

Deep breath, change the subject… Force yourself to focus on something more entertaining! Find a reason to laugh… pull out the old high school yearbook if you must – pictures of hair taller than 3 inches always makes me laugh! If you can’t find something to laugh at, do something silly – bring about that dork factor! Call me if you can’t find someone to be silly with! But by all means, please take a breather and laugh!